Friday, June 20, 2008

I Do Not Drive A Lexus

I know very little about cars, so I hate taking mine to the shop, even when it's just for a routine oil-change. Inevitably what I expect to be a routine oil-change suddenly becomes a dire situation which more often than not involves a few mechanics taking all of my car's innards out, throwing them around on the garage floor, splattering each other in oil, reassembling the car, and charging me $700.00. I hate it when they do that.
Today I got very lucky and left after receiving exactly what I asked for: a routine oil-change. No pressure to buy new wiper blades, no persuasion to have my transmission fluid flushed,not even a suggestion to have my tires rotated. The service was friendly, relatively quick, and less expensive than my previous dealership. And on top of everything, there was free entertainment in the waiting room.
I took my book and my Mickey D's sweet tea inside, where I plopped myself down into the first empty chair I saw. The tile floor amplified the deafening television, and I was amazed to observe a couple in their twenties glued to the set while their infant daughter sat alone, babbling in her stroller.

Scene: An Automobile Service Center Waiting Room

Woman to Man: But DNA testing isn't 100 percent correct.
Man Screaming to Television: (laughing) Y'see? Now you stuck. Now ya gonna have to stay with the bitch. That baby's yours, man!
Woman to Man: SHHHH! Don't say 'bitch.'
Man: Don't tell me what to say. I'm gonna go piss. (walks away)
Woman to Infant in Stroller: (in baby talk voice) If ya daddy don't fix hisself, me and Daddy's gonna be on Divorce Court, too.
Infant in Stroller: ---

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